An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

Don’t promise to give your kid anything from this delivery until you see this delivery

Last week Leta’s trial contact lenses arrived and there is a long story to be told about how incredibly and surprisingly fast that kid got those things into her eyes and the look on her face when she saw the world for the first time…

November 13, 2018

Dentists, and ophthalmologists, and therapists, oh my!

This is one of those insane weeks when you just want to set a Tesla on fire and walk away from it while looking not at it but directly into the camera. A part of you hopes that at least something special to Elon Musk…

October 24, 2018

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Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong. When I first wrote a bio for this site I called myself a SAHM—a Stay At Home Mom, or, Shit Ass Ho Motherfucker. More than a decade later I am now what’s referred to as a FTSWM—a Full-Time Single Working Mom, or, Fuck That Shit Where’s Marijuana.

This used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works.

Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride. dooce is back. And she’s talking about herself in the third person, so you know you better have a barf bag at the ready.